he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
sarcasm needs its own font
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
