just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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