And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
