Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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