yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
