i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
