Kiss
Puke
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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