he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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