Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
