I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
