Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
