I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dignity is for republicans.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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