you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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