how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
