did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
