i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
