Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
