at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
