would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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