oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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