Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i wish my penis had a tongue
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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