He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's just like the Real World with babies
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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