then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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