on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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