he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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