I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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