Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
