you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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