Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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