Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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