the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
