Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
