Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
