It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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