OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
