my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
