i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
