I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
