so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
