Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
