I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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