i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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