and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the day after is always just damage control
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
