i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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