Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
