What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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