STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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