My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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