You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
