Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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